Friday, September 4, 2009

The golden rule

If you cannot say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

Princess, debutante, lolita. To some these words bring certain images to mind of spoiled brats, superiority complexes, catty arguments, gossip, and premadonnas.

Wearers of lolita fashion have been exhibiting undo cattiness instead of the attitude worthy of Victorian dolls and maidens the fashion was originally made to portray. Princesses are categorized as being vain, overly pompous divas instead of the lovable, charitable matriarchs that most little girls aspire to be. Just because you can wear a crown doesn’t mean you deserve the princessly title.

Remember that when you are dressed up you are not only representing yourself, you are also acting as representative of whichever fashion you are wearing. No one will consider you lovely and lady-like if you cannot act appropriately. The aesthetics and beauty of the lolita and princess fashions diminish when the wearer does not portray herself as a lady.

However, life isn’t always going to be cupcakes, rainbows, and tea parties. There will always be times when you must put your foot down and there is always a princessly way to do it. You don’t have to be meek, but in no way should you act like a drunkard or a sailor.

- Ask yourself "Is the argument truly worth it?"
- Avoid snid comments and gossip
- Try to act friendly toward everyone
- Avoid arguments
- Never talk down to anyone
- Stay calm
- Do not engage in a battle of volume use your wit
- Do not fight for the last word
- Be the more mature person and walk away

As I was working on this column Victoria the author of the popular lolita blog Lolita Charm wrote an article on the downfall of the lolita fashion. I agree with her on some points presented in her article "Endangered Species: Lolita". In small alternative fashions such as lolita and himegyaru each of us should be encouraging the newer or less educated members instead of pruning them off like the less prolific flower buds from a rose bush. In no way do I think the fashion is dying out. However, I believe we are developing a nasty reputation that will attract the most uncouth sort of individuals.

While wanting to be popular in a fashion is understandable, acting like a nasty common high school most-popular clique is not. No one wants to be friends with those girls because they are nice. People only want to be recognized by them so they can become popular as well. This sadly seems to be the future path our favorite fashions are heading towards.


Violet LeBeaux said...

Yes I agree, the livejournal communities can be very unpleasant sometimes. I'm not someone who will let an internet community tell me how to live my life but I found that being in some of those communities was making me hate being associated with Lolita. Your article was very well written.

belle said...

its a cute tipx d0ing th0se thgx making me eaxy to get frenx and wut a xweet life to have..anyway.,d0 vixit my bl0g..bellethemidnightrose.blogspot..and d0 leave out cmmnt..

Princess Tsuki said...

I honestly don't see the point of being popular. Maybe it's the valentines envy, I can't think of anything else-- but if you want to be recognized, you definitely have to do this by being your true self and by treating everyone like YOU would like to be treated. That is not an exhaggeration, that is not an hyperbole, it's the truth.

I have a rather strange personality. It might be part of a personality disorder, or it can be linked to a condition of mine. As much as I try to attain a graceful and princessy demeanor, I am, sometimes, cold and indifferent. While facing trouble, such as being in a fight with my father, I turn cold. When something bothers me, I can be cold, or, like my father once said about me, in a fight, "I can seem to have a superiority complex by seeming like everyone's telling crap and I'm the only one talking the truth". Maybe it's people misinterpreting what I truly mean, but in fights like the ones I have with him I seem overly calm and indifferent to what he says - because his anger is not natural, it's chemical.

Anyhow - he thinks I have that kind of superiority complex, and my mom thinks I have a superiority complex, too, by looking down on uncultured people or on people who don't use the language properly. That's not true.

I know both these things are not true, and that my attitude towards problems doesn't seem what it's meant to be, and that's what I want to correct. Maybe I do need to be nicer, or maybe I need therapy, or better medicine, or whatever, but I do want to seem like I solve my problems rationally and gracefully, without forgetting the 'inner elegance' we all shall have. Thank you for writing this and making me reminisce these issues.