Monday, October 1, 2012

October Challenge

"Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever."
--Lance Armstrong

I spent the whole of September thinking about what I should do with myself, but my respite is over. Recently there have been a lot of grievous and stressful events happening which have made me rethink of all of choices. I have taken care of everything that I am capable of, but I would stress out about the things that were beyond my control. I wasn't eating correctly, sleeping well, or doing much of anything. I had shut down. I was losing interest in music, playing any video games, fashion, blogs, and any of the other things I am normally interested in. Smile, because people will worry if you are not. Seem interested, because people will annoy you if you do not. But I was exhausting myself by focusing on what I had no ability to control.

Last month was the unhappiest I think I have ever been. The fact that I had almost no control of the situations around me made me feel horrible. And the fact that I was shutting down because of them made me feel even worse. I was giving up on the things I love the most. I was quitting on who I was because of worry and misery. I would not say that I was depressed, but I was as close to it as I ever want to be.

Then last week I finally sat there and thought about everything. I have been doing the best I could during every situation. I tried to fix and compensate for as much I could. And while none of this fit into my life plans, I am managing to get through it all. I only have one chance to live every day. There is no rewind button and no do-overs. I have to enjoy as much as I can now because once it is gone there is not getting that time back. And I am not going to let this negativity ruin my life while I am still young.

I love this blog and my readers. I enjoy typing out my thoughts, crafting, wearing elaborate outfits, and sharing great finds. So for a much doubt and uncertainty as I had in September about what I am going to do, I will continue as I was before. Blogging is one of my many favorite activities and stress relievers. I will not set a post frequency because I do not need anything else strenuous in my life. Just know that I will do everything in my power to stay positive and blogging. I make it my mission to enjoy every day once again. I refuse to be a quitter!

image from: We❤It: Piccsy


Anonymous said...

I love these monthly challenges - it's what first piqued my interest in your blog.

I'm glad that you are set on healing yourself, and I find Fall to be the best season to do it in. ^^

Lady Kristen said...

theEmocarebear: Thank you. :) It is good to know that people like my monthly challenges. It's only the second day, but I am pleased with the plans I'm working on.