I have an unhealthy habit of focusing on the past or on what others have/can do. This causes me to lose sight of my own abilities or opportunities in my life. Then when I do regain focus, I do not see the bright side. It seems that everyone around me is getting want they want, except for me. I feel that all I do is work, but I get no reward in return. Of course the recent events in my life do not help.
I would become so focused on my perceived inadequacies that I would have mini panic attacks. All I could think about is that I will never get the chance to travel, have nice things, or experience fun. Just when everything seems to be going well, life finds a way to destroy my hopes again. I know there are other people in worse situations than I am. But I feel that my life is not improving either.
I need to stop thinking this way. I need to stop focusing on other people and concentrate on my life. So this month I decided it was time to take charge of my anxiety, self doubt, and jealousy. I need to be thankful for what I have/where I am and strive toward improving upon that. I need to redirect these negative feelings and modify them into positive motivation. I will not be taking a destination vacation this summer, but I do not need to confine myself to the house either. March will be a stepping stone on revising how I see my life and working on how to make each day better.
image from: The Berkeley Blog