Sunday, September 16, 2018

Part one: Wightloss

Part one of getting back to myself is to deal with the years of neglect I had inflicted by abusing food. I completely admit that I am an idle and stress eater. When I was bored or in times of chaos/uncertainty I would munch on anything and everything. And of course the unhealthiest of snacks were my preference. This caused my weight to sky rocket. I would then loathe the way I looked and would eat my feelings. I thought why not eat more junk, I looked horrible anyway. The weight gain would cause me additional stress. And then I would eat to deal with that stress. It was a horrible cycle. One that I had been repeating since middle school.

June of this year I decided to finally put an end to this cycle of abuse. Yes, abuse is a hard word. But I feel that is what I was doing to myself. There was no reason to eat the way I had been. I was misusing food. Food is meant to nourish the body, give energy, and to be an occasional treat. I had been using food to keep myself occupied or as a distraction from a problem. Not any more. I was determined to treat food and by body the way they deserved. 

So far I have lost 28lbs. There are still so many more pounds to go, but I am celebrating every victory. I refuse to let boredom or stress drive me to overeat anymore. I also refuse to let my weight dictate how I feel about myself. I am not the number on the scale. I am not just made of rolls and cellulite. I am beautiful. I am loved. I have come to love myself and I am happy. I am a work in progress. I have concurred this vice and I am making my way back to myself. 

Nothing shows bravery like an after workout picture. Hair disheveled, shiny face, not posed, and oversized shirt. This shirt used to fit tightly. I have donated the larger size clothing that no longer fit. But I like to keep this to see how far I have come. Never again will I fit that size. Never again.

image from: pixbay


elizabeth said...

Ahh it sounds like you're doing amazing, that is a huge achievement!! Your blog is so gorgeous and princessy, I know you can do it!! When the going gets tough, hang in there and really test yourself, listen to your body and what it wants and needs but remain in control :D can't wait to read more and follow on your journey xx

elizabeth ♡ ”Ice Cream” whispers Clara
(I would love to follow each other on bloglovin if you like :D)

Kristen P said...

Thank you elizabeth! Your blog is also adorable and a princessy inspiration too. I will look forward to your posts as well. It is hard sometimes, but working toward a better me is a must.